i am again dumbfounded as i fiddle with my blog and try to "improve" its physical quality. and what do i get? strained eyes and a very bloated self as i am humbled by the fact that i do not know anything about HTML or photoshop. as you can see, my blog can be somewhat compared to a classic basurahan for all i care.

ack i hate this. the thing i hate the most is the feeling of stupidity and ignorance. i hate feeling stupid and unknowledeable of things. i hate it when i swallow my pride and ask other people for help.

maybe it is caused by this insatiable ego of mine.

oh heck, i won't try to study HTML or CSS or whatever crap you call it. waah or maybe i will? i dunno. since forever, i found myself easily irritated and impatient with technology. that is why i am somewhat convinced that i was really born in the wrong decade. like for the technology, the music, and the lifestyle (i think the 50's/60's way of living was so much more interesting and spunky), and the fashion of course :-p

bea's inviting me to this 17 magazine stint. though we both don't know what the stint's all about yet. her tita is close friends with one of the people there in 17. so there.

i do hope it pushes through though. for once, i want to have an exciting summer!

oh yeah, my summer WILL BE exciting. i forgot to tell you that we're going to Florida and Washington DC this summer. ate and kuya david will meet with us there. wipee Disneyworld!

as far i can remember, Disneyworld was the place i was happiest in. i could remember munching on my favorite mickey mouse-shaped ice cream sandwich while i endured the pain of my singaw.

the good ol' days.

when i thought mickey mouse really did exist and wasn't just a man beneath a dirty mascot costume.

when i thought that minnie mouse was the greatest thing ever happened to me.i was so ecstatic as i entered her very cute house!haha

when i thought that i was the only extraordinary kid who ever lived.

when i thought i was invincible.

when i wished upon tinkerbell and the wonderful fireworks display.

when i thought that happiness will be forever.

the magic is still within me. for in one way or another, i am still a child. a child, who dreams of never growing up and lives with Peter Pan.

life is still magical after all. we just choose not to see it.

that's what makes me even more excited in going to Disneyworld. As i, would finally see the "magic" as a grown up.

i forgot how big Disneyworld was. just imagine me when i looked up their site! i was awed! there's so many things to do! good thing we'll be staying for 10 days in Disneyworld and only 4 days in DC.

we'll also be staying at the Hilton hotel, and i bet we won the lottery. not in a gazillion yrs would i imagine my parents spend that much money for a place to stay. we usually just stay in those local motels. yes, the one where you put quarters in the washing machine! ohhh i love those! it's really "fun"!
oooh and where you just cross the street to buy your microwavable meal? i love those kind of motels. motels are different in the US. they're not as popular as one night motels and as sex places compared to the motels here in the Philippines.

i do hope i see Paris Hilton. tihee. :-p i'm not a fan, but it's just fun to see her in person. :-p

there's alot to see in disneyworld because they also have water parks! and i'm not talking about ala-splash island! check it out! they have 120 ft slide that forms a semi-right angle! and you have no floater or anything! talk about wild! basta! i'm super excited. and i told dad i wanted to go to NASA AGAIN!!!!

did you know that my ORIGINAL childhood dream is to be an astranaut????!!!

really. :D

and with all the science museums! i want to visit all of them haha! oopsie, did i sound too dorky?!

but seriously, i want to go to all of the science museum stuff.

i need to catch up with mythbusters in discovery channel. but i think there's something wrong, because it's forever blurry.

seeya!

-march 2007-

in the midst of excitement and confusion

it really IS WEIRD. just a few months ago, on the 6th of Januray to be exact, i found myself jumping for joy and too ecstatic to even sleep at night. know what i'm talkin about? i'm talking about ateneo. last january 6 was amazing, it was as if i was floating on air. the thing i thought as an unattainable dream was already in arm's reach. finally, i was going to study in my DREAM SCHOOL. ever since i was a kid, ateneo was the only school i was introduced to. except of course, STC. i mean, both my parents would tell me "o denise, diyan ka mag-aaral paglaki mo. tatawid ka dito...blah blah". oh crimminey save me.

or so i think.

almost all of my friends (ii2 and iv2) are going going to UST. well let's just call it the University of St. Theresa. megan and i can't help but feel left out whenever we talk about college. i know it's silly and very childish to actually think that way. that i don't want to go ateneo just because i won't have new friends. just because they're all in UST and DLSU. just because i'll be out of my comfort zone. just because i'm afraid to sprout out from my shell.

but really. it is easier to think that way. but hey, i'm old enough to make my own decisions. even if it means leaving my comfort zone. i mean hello? when should i be ready to be "independent"? when i'm working? i guess adjusting to an environment just takes some courage and willpower. it takes time, yeah. but i'll learn a lot along the way.

one more thing, most people my age have the tendency to have this LOUSY mentality towards ATENISTAS/LASALLISTAS. they label them as "mayabang, mayaman, mahangin, materialistic, and whatever crap" and i ask them this question :"what is their basis?" do they have enough proof? do they personally know these people who they call mayabang?

we are old enough to know these people(i would prefer to use the term children)! weren't we taught to never be judgemental towards others? and besides i bet the people saying these things can't call themselves HUMBLE. PERFECT even? what a great way to look at things. they bad mouth other people who "threaten" their capabilities to make themselves feel better. they simply love putting down people because they want to be on top.

and besides, you won't catch me saying "ayoko sa UST. mga poor ang mga andun. mga hindi pumasa ng ACET/DLSUCET/UPCAT"

you definitely won't find me putting down UST just because i want to. or so i'd feel better.

then why can't others do the same thing with ateneo?

is it so hard to just shut up and be genuinely happy for each other?

i know some people are afraid of me and talk behind my back. maybe because they know that i am right? come on, face me head on.

there's nothing to hide from me anyway. let's debate. or will you just remain talking behind my back because you choose to run away from the truth that i am right?and that i do have a point? that judging schools based on financial status matters?

moving along. going to UST means not leaving my comfort zone. and i'm thinking, i may remain as my old shy self. UST is a great school. in fact, many of my relatives studied there.

it's just that I FEEl that i have this calling in ateneo. cheesy as it may sound, but true. i am scared though.

it will be whole lot different than STC. there are times that i'd question myself on why i even passed ateneo when my credentials aren't that impressive. i am not active in extra curriculars. i only became an outstanding student JUST ONCE. i have a hard time conversing in straight english. i shy away from socializing. i'm your regular student. i have no extraordinary talents or accomplishments. i'm poor at math. i shy away from reciting in class not unless i am close to my class. I FEEL SO SMALL.

i'm thinking, maybe i only passed ateneo. FOR NOW. and will fail the 1st sem.

boohoo i'm scared.

-march 2007-

last friday was a blast! the original plan was to watch the movie 300 with ii2 but all of them cancelled the last minute so i was stuck with megan. haha nag date kami ni megan. it was pretty boring compared to spending a usual afternoon with ii2. no offense megan. haha bitter kami sa ii2. hahaha but hey, at least i got to watch the bloomfields!

i didn't like the movie that much. it was just bloody and angsty. the plot was so simple but it was a bit dragging. man, i almost fell asleep! ask megan. she was weirded out because she was practically screaming because of the fight scenes while i was "head banging". i dunno, maybe i just got used of watching bloody and morbid movies? hahaha.

there's this one thing i observed in myself these past few weeks. it's like i'm not this cry baby anymore. heck, i didn't cry during grad! i usually hide whenever morbid scenes are shown, but now, it's like i'm NR.

maybe because of all the pain i've gone through, slowly became a stone. i brush away sensitive thoughts and have firm decisions. 'tang inang lalaking yan!

or maybe i just think so?

well, back to friday.

i bought lots of candy, but less than i usually get. hmmm. then megan's treat for the popcorn, which some of it were dropped by her. ehem. :/

we ate at serye and ordered fish since it was a friday. good one megan!

the launch started at around 9 pm. what a spender i am! i bought ALL the pins (cute!), a t-shirt, their album, and the poster! hahaha :D

Eastwood. :D what a great way to celebrate the night before graduation! wipee! : haha. being a groupiee is fun! nyahaha. we "kinda" received special attention from rocky since miranda is his cousin. nyahaha. >:) but not really? torpe kasi tong miranda na to e...haha kidding! :-pang cute nila mag-perform!!! as in super HANDS DOWN!!!! they could've been bigger than the beatles. :-p rocky is so adorable when he plays the drums! parang bata! hahahayou seriously need to WATCH THEM!!!!lahat ata ng nakikita ni rocky kala niya drum set e! from the mic stand, to the audience' tables, chairs, PLATES (he even drank beer while hitting the plates!), the floor, the guitar (yes!), and the speakers! (i'll post the videos!!!)super cute!!! hahahaha :xand of course, AS USUAL, i'm in front! as in 1st row! should you even be surprised? nyahaha.and oh yeah, their hands are all kinda sweaty.hahahaang likot nila sa stage, sayaw ng sayaw! :xand yes, miranda, you finally met YOUR BELOVED PEPE! ahahaha

i held most of their hands! haha. sobraaang likot ni louie sa stage! as in super!

i was starstruck by them. pano namin kasi, i was a fanatic last summer pa! and i only got to watch them last week! they were oh so friendly and accomodating.

plus, their music is really my kind of music. ever since i was a baby, was exposed to their kind of music. plus, i have my own sets of 60's music up in my CD rack. i even thought to myself that i was born in the wrong decade because i dream of the THOSE days. not many people my age were that hot about my secret obssession. they would usually laugh as if i were joking.

but i wasn't.

i seriously crave for i call happy music. it's like i can relate. weird noh?
maybe that's why i didn't become a music jok because i wasn't that inspired with today's music. dont get me wrong though, the music industry today is good. but i still love the good ol' days. the days when i wasn't born yet.


nyahaha.

so hearing the bloomfields play was surreal.

haha oo na weird na ako!

just view my multiply to look at pics and vids! http://ishipotsky.multiply.com

super cute talaga nila!!! as in natatawa pa si pepe nung dindumog siya ng mag girls nung umupos siya sa stage. his face was priceless! haha! and rocky! woooh! he was practically eaten by the crowd! hahaha. miranda is sooo funny! she grabbed my hand which she used to touch rocky! hahaha. funny! some fan grabbed rocky's hand which let him fall. ahhh i touched his hair! hahaha :))
they're so good! as in! they could play any instrument! they kept on switching! jayjay played the drums and rocky played the keyboards! lakan plyed the guitar! galing!

got home about past 12.

-march 2007-

march 2007

hello summer!
today is officially the start of summer for me since grad just ended the other day and yesterday i went to may's house. as usual, i'm expecting to enjoy the 1st week of my summer since i will have all the time in the world to do the things i neglected during the school year. these things include BLOGGING, multiply-ing (well, not really! i always post!), reading ( i need to catch up with the harry potter series!), and bulking up! yup you heard me right! i plan to gain a few MORE pounds just so i can reserve my health especially when i start college. you know me, when i'm stressed, I DON'T EAT! tsktsk....i can't help it! it's like when i need to study, eating is not anymore important! except of course for my usual brain snacks like bananas and peanut butter. :-p but i guess those weren't sufficient enough for building up a vuluptous body. hmmm....a lot of my friends told me that they were going to start going to the gym this summer to lose some pounds. in my case, it's the other way around! but hey, dad says i also need to go to the gym to increase my resistance since i easily get sick.

hmmm...fitness first?! blah! we have our own gym here at home. only, i'm too tamad to even move an inch. i plan to just eat and laze around the couch the whole summer. appeasing right? not really. i seriously need to increase my competitiveness this summer. i need to hit the books and take up "unique" classes to make me stand out in college. i have no space for hang overs come the month of June. i'm thinking of learning chinese? hmmm. or take up art workshops to improve my skills? or even join trumpets or john robert powers to boost my confidence? i feel like a child surrounded by ladies. i can't help but notice the differences of myself and the girls my age. they are worthy of being called as ladies. they dress maturely, they talk comfortably with anyone, they have a wide social life, and they know how to deal with "other stuff". know what i mean? the problem is, i might get culture shock in college. i may be too "NENE" for my own good.

don't get me wrong, i'm not talking about drinking, sleeping around with boys, doing drugs, or anything. what i'm talking about is having a social life. well, duh i'm no dork to shy away from talking to people. what i mean about socializing is how to deal with different kinds of people. up to now, i still shy away from socializing with my old relatives. this is why i don't think that i am suitable for the corporate world. in just a few months, i'll be stuck studying one of my hatest subjects, business management, which is like MAJOR TLE and MEGA RESEARCH. remembering my 4th yr life studying tle and research makes me hurl. blah.

when i asked mom if she were to rate the most MANANG and nene during our teen years between us 3 sisters, who would she pick? surprisingly, she told me that ate anne was the most nene when she entered in college. I'm a fashionista daw kasi. well, come to think of it, i am stylish. all throughout grade school and high school, i would usually be the "class trendsetter" and is described to have a cute wardrobe. nyahaha. some would go to me to ask for Divi scoring advice. but i still can't help but feel all NENE in front of other girls of diff schools. i actually thought mom would pick me as the most nene since last week i found myself all excited and giddy playing with the marvelous toys at TOYS R' US. talk about it. where would you find a high school senior who was about to graduate in a week's time giddy all over at the sight of sparkly toys?

i guess i just didn't want to face reality yet. the thought of college scared me. going to toys r us was like escaping from destiny.

it's sad.really. it's when you have no choice but to let all things be and just make the most of the time you have left.

when i was a kid, i thought that college students were really old and mature. and yet,i find myself playing with toys and gushing all over candy with only a few more moths left before college.

Graduation day came and it was glorious. my grade school grad was a so-so compared to my hs grad. well duh-uh, i practically didn't do anything during grade school! all those sleepless nights finally paid off.

i just hope i do well in ateneo. i do hope i fit in.

-march 2007-

a day with my fave girls :D (Aca, elai, and arra)

what a day! it was super fun. the original plan was to go to Divisoria, but since elai has no other day available, i decided to just move my divi escapade for next week. hello...divi lang yan.

yeah, i had fun. but i couldn't help but feel sad whenever an hour would pass away so quickly. its as if i just wanted to freeze time. i almost forgot how it was to spend an entire day with my favorite friends. well yeah, i do that everyday since i go to school. but its really different when its just the 4 of us. its really fun to reminisce about those "good ol' days" during 2nd yr. ack is that how old we are?! for us to laugh about the "silly" things we've done. the stupid "love" we have all encountered, which now i deny. oh really?

hahaha.

moving along, we left the house around 10 something am. then we had an early lunch at kenny roger's. TAKAW. we ordered the group meal which had 8 chicken parts, 4 cups of rice, 4 corn muffins, 4 side dishes, and a piteher of iced tea. not to mention bottomless gravy! hahaha.

we were so busog! imagine that. 4 girls eat a meal for 8 people :))
kwentuhan lang while eating. grabe. i missed these girls. haha. its weird putting in the word "girls" after something. it's like so girly! haha. ok im weird, i know! i'm just not used to being girly. heck, i even prefer being boyish at some point. i wanted to be real. and before, i used to think that being kikay and girly was so fake. i mean why spend all the time in front of the mirror? why spend lots of money for clothes that are uglier than you can find in divisoria? why spend time being conyo and all sosyal when there are people starving in the streets? why embark in business when all the money will only go to you?

ok, so maybe i'll talk about those later.

ung kanina muna.

what better way to use up of our time but to take pictures?! haha. about 30 minutes, we just stayed there just to take turns taking pictures. haha! the guy behind me was already throwing me weird looks. he actually thought that he was the one we were taking pictures of! feeling...ewww.

we had different kind of poses. some seductive. some funny. some bangag pics. and even some baboy pics where we still have food in our mouths! hahaha.

we checked out the movie schedules afterwards. :D how funny! we checked out the one in the main and decided to watch a movie at the block since its newer. then after taking pictures in the "landmarks of the world" backgrounds at the block, we decided to go back to the main since it was too pricey. haha.

oh, did i mention we went ice skating? haha sort of. know the vacant space in the middle of the block? that's our skating rink alright. pinilitang skating rink. we slid with our shoes on. haha talk about emabrassing :)) but hey, it was fun. who cares anyway. we weren't doing anything wrong.

we watched It's a girl boy thing.
it's funny. ab it predicatable though. but its funny. :D

we headed for the arcade! wiiih ;) we played this ball game where you press this button and see if the ball shoots in the jackpot hole. ang guess what? we won! yay :D 125 tickets baby! haha!

laughtrip ung basketball haha. kampi kami ni elai. and we would always win! haha. beh aca and arra :-p

tapos ung game na panay piso piso? haha hanep kami diyan. ;)

aca's really funny. aca and elai played this motorcycle game then aca kept on complaining on how her motorcycle doesn't work, when all along she was holding the controls the opposite way. :)) aca? i know you're really smart and an honors student to boot, but sometimes i really think you're bangag. haha. make that most of the time. it's like you're always lost? haha. but i still love you aca. we all have our ways. :-p

time crisis 4 :) wipee. :P

one thing i noticed though. every time i would play a barilan game, id always notice guys crowding behind me. nakaka-conscious siya. haha.

and would you believe we were able to earn 1000+ tickets???!!!! 1110 ata to be exact.

first we were aiming for the 700 ticket pringles, but i thought, "hello" bakit hndi na lang tayo bumili niyan sa baba? mura lang naman yan." but hey, i guess it was another excuse to play more :-p

we ended up exchanging our tickets for 4 wallets. cute :-p super :) 4 spring thingies,and candies. wahaha. saw alot of seniors. :D haha.

it was so much fun. but i reall couldn't help but feel sad as the day slowly ended. this is it. thsi marks goodbye. this marks growing up. this marks different directions. this marked friendship.

i love you all. Aca, Arra, Elai. good luck to you elai, i'm very happy for you. just dont' forget about homecoming! you've been one heck of a friend, and will always be. take care :)

-march 2007-

time for business

march 2007

i can say...doing nothing can really be irritating. this is actually the 1st day that i didn't have to worry about anything related to school. i feel restless. when i'm not doing anything, i feel unproductive and useless.

it's like pure emptiness! :)) it's just not a day without doing something.

the past weeks have been so hectic.
defense here. full feasibility the same week. submission of the final revised reasecrh paper the next. its as if stc has been trying to make us older! my lack of sleep has taken its toll on me. my head has been floating during the past week and my eye bags have been turned into luggages. ack. i fell unpretty. i guess that's what stc has been trying to do. make us unpretty. then panay community work. do i hear a convent? the training here is pure torture. i didn't know hwat to do first! i was going ballistic.

mom and dad would often see me banging on the keyboards while i impatiently do ALL my requirements. i don't think they really understand how much of work the school has given us. in their time, they didn't get to experience the "weird" sleeping time of ours. like from 8 pm to 10 pm we sleep. then tuloy tuloy na yun hanggang 6 ng umaga. half day pa minsan sa school. all for school work.

it's really unfair. they all told us that 4th yr was supposedly a hell lot easier than 3rd yr. they should be stabbed, you know that? 4th yr is definitely NOT easier than 3rd yr. it only appears easier because you act all tamad because you already know where you're going study in college. but that doesn't really dissolve the need in accomplishing requirements.

exam week was another pain. and i thought it was going to be an easy week. i like it better when its exam week. no projects to take care of. wrong-o.
i held study session with ii2 here at home to help them out. our sessions would usually start at around 2 and end around 10 at night. talk about addict.

well i do hope i was able to help them study. i guess mom kinda felt sorry for us and bought us lots of cajun burgers and fries. bad. those kinds of food are loaded with sodium and trans fats. bad for the brain. but hey, we were too hungry to think about that.

eco was such a disappointment. BULLFROG said "10 more mintes" nasa may supply and demand part palang ako. i quickly turned the page over and quickly drew whtaever came first to my mind. damn bogo. 1st-4th qtr eco crap. tae ang identification. RAR.

trigo was fine. bummer though. there were no points for solution. dang.
p6 was a major bummer. usually, i'm happy after a physics exam because i have "fun" answering the test. but thsi quarter's exam wasn't fun at all. it had RDK wriiten all over it. i guess BULLFROG was too tamad to review us for the test.

no wonder a parent complained about her and sent her away.bwahaha.
kainis lang coz we were the last batch she tortured. thelower years wouldn't be able to experience such sweet physics :-p.

generally, the exams were hard. no time to actually rest or check my answers.

i was just so happy when the bell rang! woohoo!

-march 2007-

attention freak

wow. i think this is actually my 3rd time around to make a blogger account. nyahaha. not to mention a gazillion othert accounts with other blog "centers". lj.xanga.

i chose to transfer blogs because xanga is too far from civilization. plus, i can't put links to other blogs. nobody really reads my blog there. except for some who have extra time and put in my link into their blog accounts.

o whatever.

-march 2007-