hear me out now

i'm back to square one again.

why must i fall into temptation?

why must i let my hormones rage and take over my emotions? again.

i'm crazy about you. the way you walk. the way you look at me. the way you talk. the way you write about philosophical things. the way you can probably publish your very own book with your amazing mind. the way you think. the way you turn me on.

gawd.

i like everything about you.

-july 2007-

the way you rant about things. the way you "talked" to physics because you got a low grade and even made a song out of it. (see? we compliment each other. i like physics. HAHA pinilit)
i love the way you laugh like i do.(very barubal) and the part that we have so many things in common?



agh.

then why must i contain my feelings?

it's just plain complicated.

it's just not that easy and done.

i thought i have overcome this stage 2 years ago, but then again, you came. (haha ang cheesy)

i am near obssession again. blah. i even wished death a few years ago because i was too obssessed with someone.

HAHAHA.

i don't think this is love.

it's worse.

help me now. this isn't right. i just left an all-girl's school a few months ago, and i become like this? again? di bale, dun naman sa stc nagsimula ito e.

tsktsk.

nobody can probably know exactly what i'm saying right now, which is good. i don't think i'm ready to come out yet.

i guess in all these years, i have been in denial. and i thought i went through all the the "cooky" stages already..

i guess i just missed out some stuff and now, i'm really discovering myself.

but i refuse to be. okay na nga ako nung 4th yr. OKAY na. at kala ko mas magiging MAS OKAY na pag college. hindi pala.

what's happening to me? my life's falling out. or am i just forcing myself to believe that because it's the "in" thing? to be emo?

bullshit.

or maybe it's just because i'm "due" this week and my hormones are playing tricks on me. ano ba. kala ko ba dapat nangyari na to nung HS?! kala ko ba tapos na? hindi pala e.

-------EXTRA---------

i need to bust out my all sunshine-y and perky vibe with my blockmates. it's just not real anymore. i get pooped being cheery all the time in front of them. but i can't help it! it just comes out naturally to be crazy in front of them. then why do i feel so drained when i arrive at home? and that i start crying for no apparent reason?

hmm. i always seem happy and cheery in school, but i dunno, it just comes out naturally! then why do i feel so down when i'm all alone here at home?

hayayay.

stooopeed hormones!