new year resolutions

I just had an epiphany. It's just that that I realized that I’d be better off if I channel all my energy by keeping my future in mind. Funny and how bitter it may sound, why would I waste my time fantasizing and getting all giddy over all the great things a guy could do for me when I could do it all by myself? If I dream of having an Edward Cullen then I’ll just die with a pathetic and disappointed face. Why would I wait for someone to tell me how great I am, to assure me that I’m special - when I can do it by achieving so much more.. So much ;it’ll apparent that I’m better off without others. I guess I can say that I’ll be a neurotic. Just like what Horney said, I’ll be the type who’ll be Moving away from people. The kind who over achieves to prove that I’m better off and superior compared to others. ( well not all, I am human after all. Keeping in mind that there are so many great successful people out there will be that catalyst)

Having too much expectations from someone is futile. Expecting nothing is a lot better; if a person is nice to me then great. If not, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been through this countless of times, it’s common sense to get the hang of it.

Being all giddy won’t do me any good. It will just have some drawbacks and after-effects. Why should I let myself go through that when I could feel a more intense rush of adrenaline if I channel all my energy into achieving? Summa cum laude might not be far fetched if I really put my energy to it. No more time to be emotional and weak. No more time to interpret all the so called sweet and thoughtful gestures. So what?! I want consistency. I want sincerity. I want reliability.
Why should I waste my energy dwelling on their petty actions? Their lack of tenacity, their incompetence. Their disgusting ways. It's not my business. Why should I get all disappointed when they’re so LOW and useless next to my standards? (Okay now i sound really bitter hahaha) I will just have to meet my standards myself. By then, I’ll be truly happy. Truly independent and driven.

I shouldn’t be dragged down by such pigs; I know I am so much better without them. And after all THAT, I shall be looked upon – superior and admired. Somewhat like a stone. But not emotionless. I will be ecstatic and enjoy my life full of success and glamour. I'll be happy and content with the love from friends and family.

I’ll be smiling and looking down on those bastards who didn’t take notice. I’ll laugh and smirk at the sight of their meager jobs and battering wives. (okay hahaha BITTER much hahaha)

This has become my new year’s resolutions.
By next year I’ll be:
- Strong willed and independent. I’m all about woman empowerment and not relying on the guys to do the work or the sweet stuff to make me feel special.

- Continue having a low-carb diet.

- Avoid sweets. Or better yet, take them in moderation. No more pigging out. waaah cakes and chocolates T.T

- Have long term goals. Being on the dean’s list isn’t enough. Summa cum laude tops the finish line. ( before landing on a killer job)

- Be proficient in Japanese- ENJOY KANJI.

- Be extra studious. It will all pay off in the end.

- Never let anyone else influence me negatively. Who cares if they think I’m a nerd? I like being organized and ready.

- Learn to drive. So that I won’t rely on others to drive me around. Which means more freedom!

- Not think too much when about to sleep. I’m doing it right now..when there’s no stress so there shouldn’t be any problem.

- Be driven and drown myself in passion!

-Be more ma-PR in social gatherings. I'm not a kid anymore who has to be baby talked about innocent questions. I'm starting to attend formal occasions such so I should really learn how to be more sociable. I also need to know how to small talk and make the most out of it.

-Be a pescetarian. Bye bye to pork and meat. But I still love my chicken. mwahaha.

- Be ambitious. Now, can I really be ambitious just by saying it? Hai! HAhaha

And lastly, I do hope that I'll be able to stick up to all these.

Gambatte ne! Fight-o! Omedetou gozaimasu.