of shattered dreams and aimless desires

I know that I've been bringing a rainy cloud under my blog these past entries. But I just can't help it. I like blogging. It's like talking to someone and all it does is mirrors what I say. Doesn't give any advice nor any sign of disbelief or disappointment.

I'm depressed. But contrary to my normal sad states in the past, I don't want to imprison myself in my room or with acads. It's like I don't care if I don't stay in school right now or not. I don't see the immediate importance anymore. All the glamour and the so-called prestige tagged under the Ateneo name doesn't entice me anymore. But that's not why I'm depressed.

It's like most people are moving while I'm just here. Slowly getting swallowed by the murky ground. With all my stupidity and ignorance, I carry it to the useless dimension of my thinking. My existence becomes a black hole. A place where everything seems to be in rewind. Everything repeating aimlessly until it distorts the actual essence of it. No one can hear you laugh or cry. Nobody to remember you.

FYI, I am not trying to sound poetic or something like that. In fact, what I just wrote was so crappy it's enough for my ex-Poetry teacher to give me an F. Just wanted to sprinkle all my glum pixie dust. Hope the magic doesn't work on you though.