Just yesterday I was just so mad at myself for being so confused and inefficient. I cried every minute of the day, even when there were people around, trying my best not to be noticed. My only rest period was when I slept. But still, I'd wake up and know that I still cried myself to sleep and that my then-dry pillowcase was still full of dried tears.

I was scared. Terrified even. I just couldn't handle all the crossroad decisions and all the pressure.

----------------------------------------------------

They finally know.

Just when I thought that nobody could really bare all my whining and dazed ponderings, my parents came to the rescue. Of all the people, they were the most understanding. I actually thought that they would just say OK or whatever, but no. They talked to me for about an hour and my Dad gave me the warmest hug ever. I dunno, but tonight was really weird. I had this special connection with them - they really understood what I was going through. Oh well, there's no turning back now. I'm starting a new leaf tomorrow, and I'm about to pee in my shorts. I'm scared to death. But this is something I have to go through - in one way or another, it'll make me stronger.


-july08-